August 29

by meghan, 08-30-2006, 01:57 AM

I made it through it again. It was great to have my Mother, Pam, and my twin brother, Sean, come up and support me. Thanks you Sally for being by my side time and time again. I don't know what this would be like without you. Thanks Dad, Misako, Mary Ann, Ron, Elaine and all the rest of my supporters. Without all of you this would be so difficult. The support I have from you gives me the strength, motivation and inspiration to continue on. <br />My gamma knife procedure went extremely well and pretty quickly. I got there at 6am and got out by 11:45am. We initially thought there were two new lesions in the frontal lobe but there was only one. The second lesion was the last lesion that got gamma knifed. So that was great news. Of course when I got there I had the halo bolted into my head, a total of four screw, and then went in for my MRI. No new lesions and the neurosurgeons and physicist mapped out and programed the gamma knife machine. Then it was time for me to get the procedure. There was a total of three radiation treatments. Each treatment lasted about 5 to 6 minutes. After each treatment, all of the doctors would come in and move the metal brackets around on the halo. They would call out the coordinates and then those coordinates would be triple checked. Then once everything was checked they would all leave the room and the machine would take me in and radiate me. NO smell, sound or feeling to it. Pretty weird. After the three treatments they unscrewed the halo out of my head, this hurts more than when they put it in, and took out my IV and I was ready to go home. We dropped Sally off at work and then I came home and napped for three hours or so. My brother took all of us out to sushi for dinner and my mom bought us ice cream afterwards at Toy Boat. It was yummy. I got to hang out with my brother, watch some movies and talk seriously one on one. It was really great. They left this morning, I went and got a reiki session with Marie and then I got to have lunch with my Aunt Mary Ann. A fun eventful day....but boy am I tired. So that’s all for now. I love you all. Thanks for tuning in.

Smith Transcript 20 July 2006

by meghan, 07-22-2006, 02:46 AM

Smith Transcript 20 July 2006<br /><br />[attachmentid=13]

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Smith Transcript 13 June 2006

by meghan, 07-22-2006, 02:41 AM

Smith_transcript_13 June 2006<br /><br />[attachmentid=12]

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Feeling Good

by meghan, 07-05-2006, 05:53 PM

Sally and I had a great four day weekend and we are now looking forward to a short week. The more I thought about everything this weekend the more I realized I wasn't living in the moment. Things were racing through my mind, like what if I can't do this trial, I won't do whole brain radiation, oh just focus on getting in the trial etc. What it all comes down to is this, if I get into this trial its meant to be and if I don't its meant to be. Truly I just want to be. Being is what makes me happy. I'll make decisions as they come and not worry about them now. I hope everyone had a happy fourth of July. Sal and I had a mellow weekend. We surfed a little, ran a little, watched movies, ate yummy food, hung out with our animals and got to see some of our friends. Most importantly I got to be with Sally. I'll try to keep you all updated. Please write comments, call, prey or send energy my way. I would love to have any support I can get. Thanks. <!--emo&:rolleyes:--><img src='http://meghanmckenna.com/mb/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='rolleyes.gif'><!--endemo-->

Two new brain lesions

by meghan, 07-01-2006, 01:54 AM

Well it is what it is and I'm not going to label it. I called Dr. Smith to get the results from my most recent MRI and the report shows there are two new lesions in the frontal lobe. As of right now we are unsure whether Dr. O'Day will allow me into the study. I am going to, and I would love if you all could too, visualize Dr. O'Day allowing me into the MDX study. We won't be able to talk to him until Wednesday because of the long fourth of July holiday weekend. So please pray, visualize or do what you like best. Who knows what the future holds but I'm going to try my best to be happy in the moment. Enjoy what I have and embrace the people I love.

The last few weekends

by meghan, 06-27-2006, 06:24 PM

The last few weekends have been a blast. Sally and I have been spending some quality time together and with our friends. We have been surfing and running in the mornings and engaging in other activities in the afternoon. Two Saturday's ago we were invited to go to Crista and Jill's pool party in San Rafael. They were house and pet sitting for some friends of theirs and they invited a few close friends to enjoy the warmth and beauty of their friends home. WOW. It was an amazing house and down stairs there was a big pool and beautiful pool house. There was great food and good times. Thanks Crista and Jill. I hope to get some new pix up on the website soon. This past weekend was Gay Pride 2006 in San Francisco. We had a blast. Once again we started Saturday morning running. Sarah and I ran in the 5K and Sally and Terra ran in the 10K. I could have run the 10K but something was telling me I shouldn't, and that reason became very clear when Sally past the finish line. I heard Sally screaming my name. I turned around and saw a man face down on the ground. I rushed over to see what had happened. The man was in his thirties and he appeared to be seizing. This was not a grand mal seizure but a mild one. His arms started to contract and his back arched a little and his eyes were fluttering. I started barking out orders. I am certified in emergency care services so instinctively I started going down the list of things to do. First I made sure we were in a safe environment, second I asked someone to call 911. Then I did a sternum rub and asked if the man was ok. He was seizing so I instructed the some people to turn him on his side. This is always the best breathing position to be in. A on the site medic came and instructed we turn him on his back and put jackets under his neck. I knew this was not the right thing to do but he was a race medic. As soon as we turned him on his back he started losing color. Within 30 seconds he started turning blue. A woman to my right started saying we need to do CPR, and before I knew it she was pounding on his chest. I yelled at her and said stop. He has a pulse he's just not breathing because his tongue is closing up his throat. We need to turn him on his side. As soon as we did he started coughing and breathing. Color started coming back to his face. I started shouting "let him be, he is stable." He was now breathing and was no longer seizing. His friends were shouting out that he is on kidney medication and I asked if they were new meds and they said no. I knew that wasn't the reason for this. We observed him closely and before I knew it the paramedics were there. We got him in a neck brace, on a board and started giving him oxygen. I saw that he was coming too. I asked him who he was, where he was and did he remember what had happened. He knew who he was and where he was but couldn't remember what happened. The paramedics took Gavin away. His friend came up to me and thanked me profusely. That was the start to Pride weekend. After that we went home got dressed up and spent the rest of the day going back and forth between the Castro and Dolores park. Sunday we went surfing in the morning and then went to a big Law firm Gay Pride Brunch. We then got ready and spent the rest of the day at the civic center and ended our afternoon in a private party in city hall. We had a Gay "Ol" Time. <br><br>Karma just got her cyst removed yesterday and is doing really well. I have my MRI scheduled for tomorrow. Sorry I haven't written in a while. I tried to fill you in as best as possible.

LA

by meghan, 06-27-2006, 05:48 PM

After my Gamma Knife procedure I went down to LA so that I could consult with Dr. Steven O'Day. O'Day is one of the top Melanoma researchers in the world. We called his office and found out that I was eligible for some trials. I drove down and stayed with my mom on Tuesday June 6th and prepared for my visit on Wednesday. O'Day was very pleased with my appearance, energy level and positive outlook. He said that anyone with my condition and its severity would have only lived for 3 months. Well, here I am one year later skydiving, surfing, running and enjoying life. He was literally amazed. It turned out that O'Day is doing the same trial (MDX-10) Minor was doing but he will allow me into his trial if I'm stable four weeks post Gamma Knife. Unbelievable. Unlike Minor, O'Day really believes in my immune system, believes in my process and is not going to let my brain METS deter him from letting me in the study. To be honest, the reason Minor wanted me stable for six months (that's right six months) post Gamma Knife is because he is afraid of my brain METS and he doesn't want the numbers in his trial to be screwed up. Well let me tell you something Dr. Minor, you just made the biggest mistake of your career. MDX is going to step up my already kick ass immune system and its going to kick this cancer right in the balls. So needless to say the doctors apt went really well in LA. I'm scheduled to get a MRI on June 28th. When the report comes back stating everything is stable I will proceed back down to la for a CT and Sigmoidoscopy. Once those scans are done then I can start the protocol. It was great to have my mom and Sean support me. It was great to see them and I'm excited that we will be getting to spend more time together. Once I start the trial I will be getting infused once every three weeks for 90 minute. This will be repeated four times (three months) and then I will get follow up scans to see the progress of the protocol. If things have gotten smaller or are stable they will keep me on a maintenance program which is one infusion every three months. Sp all in all I think things are going quite well.

Gamma Knife

by meghan, 06-14-2006, 07:19 PM

Round Two. DING DING. I'd have to say the procedure was a lot easier this time around, especially since I've done it before. My mom flew in the night before the procedure, which was nice. We picked up some Thai food, thanks John for buying, and headed home to eat dinner and watch movies. We rested up for the unexpected day to come. We arrived at the hospital at 5:45am. Lucky for me the staff was all the same as last time so I knew everyone by first name. They started me off on an IV and then had the main Doctor come in and screw the Halo into my skull. Its basically a ring placed around my head with four main stems. Two stems in the front and two in the back. Prior to the fitting they gave me a local anesthesia in the four locations. Once that's working they go ahead and hand screw the bolds into my skull. I couldn't feel any sharp pain (that was felt when the local was injected into my head) but it felt as though someone was crushing my head. The pressure was intense and I could feel it in my teeth. I takes a while to get use to and its extremely hard to lie down since the ring around my head pulls on the screws but we found a way to get the pillows around the halo. Next was the MRI. Another two devises get locked onto the halo and I get locked into the MRI machine. This particular MRI was going to take longer since the doctors wanted to do a profusion test. The reason for this test was because the doctors were unsure if the Cerebellum lesion had gotten bigger. According to the last PET scan in November it showed positive signs of cancer so the doctors wanted to make sure it was something they wanted to radiate. I tried my best to rest and meditate in the MRI but it can sometimes be difficult since the machine is so loud. Not only is it loud but it was especially loud because the vibrations of the sound and movement of the machine were traveling through the halo and into my skull. After the MRI sally brought in baked goods from my favorite organic bakery. Last time I didn't eat anything until after the procedure. This time I asked why I couldn't eat and the response was "we do it for selfish reasons, we don't want anyone throwing up in the machines etc.". Well I knew I wouldn't get sick, so I asked sally to sneak me in some food. The results form the MRI came back great. The cerebellum lesion was now smaller than its ever been and all they needed to radiate was the frontal lobe lesion which unfortunately increased from .7cm to 1.3cm in about four weeks time. We waited for the doctors and physicist to go over the calculations and program them into the gamma knife machine. This time the machine did all the work. There were no helmet changes or doctors with their screw drivers all around me calling out measurement. The actual procedure took about 30 minutes, compared to the last one, which took 2 hours. Now it was time to get the halo taken off. There was actually more pressure taking it off than putting it one. They stopped the bleeding at all of the sites and then put band-aides on. I came back out and my mom was surprised at how quickly I was done. Then Sally walked into the room with a big blanket and inside that blanket was Terra. You have no idea how happy I was. Tears are coming to my eyes right now just thinking about it. She started whining at a high pitch, so excited to see me, she knew exactly what was going on. She started licking my face and rubbing her head into the crevasse of my neck. There is nothing like animal love and companionship. I attribute a lot of my healing to her. The nurse who allowed her in came in and started awing over her. There was a young fellow next to me in the room getting the same thing done. I sat Terra on the bed and had her do all her tricks for everyone. This brought smiles to everyone's face. We all went home and I rested. I could get comfortable because my head hurt and the screw sites were soar. Finally I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later still feeling the same. I feel asleep again and woke up around 6pm. When I awoke I noticed I had no headache or pain at the sites. It was really weird. I felt great. About 15 minutes after I awoke Marie Wheale called to tell me she had just done distance work on me and asked how I was feeling. And of course I told her. That woman kicks ass. Her work lasted for the night. The next morning my sites were a little soar but nothing to complain about. Thanks sally, marie, and mom for being there. Thanks to all of you who were sending good thoughts and energy. It really is felt and appreciated.

O'Day Transcript June 06 06

by sean, 06-13-2006, 09:41 AM

O'Day Transcript June 06 06<br /><br />[attachmentid=2]

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Memorial Weekend

by meghan, 06-09-2006, 04:09 AM

This is going to be a quick version because I spent a 1/2 hour writing this and it got erased. So here it is once again. Sal, Crista, Jill and Sarah all went up to Yosemite to camp for the holiday weekend. We drove seperately and Sal and I got a head start. On the way up, about 1/2 way Sal saw a black puff ball in the middle of the road that got straddled by the car in front of us. We saw it blown over to the shoulder of the road as we passed it and realized it was a kitten. Luckily there were no cars behind us, so I jumped out and was prepared for the worst. As I approached it, it jumped up and ran in the middle of the road. I jumped in the road and scared it back over to the shoulder. With it's back turned toward me I made my move to pick it up and it bit me. I put it in the crook of my arm and brought it into the car. I checked for broken bones, none were found, and scratches, one on his lip. I found a little blood on the anus which lead me to believe there might be internal bleeding. As we left the side of the road we saw a sign that said not to pick up hitch hikers.....so of course we name him Hitch. He was all black, with grey peering eyes and he fit in the palm of my hand. I fed the kitten drops of water and gave him as much love as I could. He just stared at me like I was his mommy. About 45 minutes later we hit a town with a Vet hospital that was closed but an adjoining Reality office with two ladies in it. We told them the story and they knew a lady they could call who could come and rescue and hospitalize the cat if need be. It was sad letting him go but I knew it was the right thing to do. We continued on our ride and got to the camp site and set up camp. We all piled into Crista's car and headed out to check out the waterfalls and other sites which were incredible. We got to take the doggies for a walk and take lot of pictures. As we headed back to camp it started to snow, hail, sleet and rain. Can you believe it? We took a vote and decided it was best to drive home since it was only a little after 3pm. On our way out we saw a wolf, fox and a family of deer. Sal and I decided to make the best of the weekend. We went surfing the next morning and hung out with Crista and Jill in their back yard the rest of the day enjoying the beautiful SF weather. Monday we went surfing again and saw the most beautiful site. About 10-20 yards out from our boards there was a school of 10-15 dolphins fully jumping out of the water. They were huge. I mean you could see the tip of their noses to the tips of their tails. Sometimes three, five or eight at a time they would be jumping out of the water. I got chills down my spine. They continued to play around us for about 20 minutes. I've never been that close to any wild creature like that before in my life. We end our day by going on a two hour hike in Mount Tam with Crista and Jill. It was a beautiful, wildlife filled weekend. I couldn't help but see the wisdom and beauty in the wildlife. Its that connection to universal intelligence and innate intelligence within all of us. We are all connected and we can learn alot from wildlife if we just would stop to listen.